birthday month 2015

Happy 1st of November!

Or as I like to call it -

Rather than look back, and recap my life, as I have done in the past...

(here, here, here, here. Interestingly I didn't bother with a post last year...)

I'm taking a different approach to Birthday Month today.

I ' M   L O O K I N G   F O R W A R D

Perhaps I'm somehow inspired by a terrible quote I heard recently,
which had something to do with looking back giving you nothing but a sore neck...

Maybe it's because I've got lots of exciting things on the horizon?

Or maybe I am finally getting wiser in my old age?!

This month I will say goodbye to my 20's; 

(EEK!)

And I have sooo many things for which to be grateful,

I'm not worried about 'The Big 3-0' at all.



xx

let's jump

I'm not sure of the exact date and time; but somewhere between believing in the tooth fairy and falling head over heels in love with Zac from Hanson, I became very serious about life. I quietly packed my imagination into a box and stored in securely on a shelf in my mind. The days of make believe quickly became a thing of the past. I decided being cool or 'grown up' was more important than having fun. And I began to do (or not do) things based on what everyone else thought of me. (Let's blame my mad crush on Zac Hanson on this very theory). 

 I   S T O P P E D   B O U N C I N G   O N   T R A M P O L I N E S

And doing cartwheels.

And running through sprinklers.

And rolling down grassy hills.

I lost my sense of child-like wonder.

At some stage - Everyone does.

I don't believe this is just a by-product of growing up. 

George Bernard Shaw said it best - 

We don't stop playing because we grow old;
We grow old because we stop playing.
-- George Bernard Shaw

How disappointing that in our society to be playful is considered 'childish';

and how heartbreaking that for an adult to exhibit playful behaviour results in judgement from others.

Rather than search outdoor furniture and courtyard inspiration since moving into my new place; 

I've been trawling gumtree for a trampoline.

I have decided to play again. 

To defy others' judgement; 

And find my inner-child full of energy and excitement.

Also - who doesn't love lying on a trampoline on a clear night and looking up at the stars?!

It's about mindfulness. 

Living in the moment. 

Unleashing fun. 

Let's bring back our childlike wonder.

You should be allowed to jump if you want to.

xx

#OneBeautifulThought

Thought of the Day: 

W O M E N   A R E   B I T C H E S *

* to themselves

Ever wondered what it would sound like if your inner critic spoke out loud?

Dove France have launched an ad campaign based on the hideous things we say to ourselves.

The dialogue for this ad was made by asking women on the street to record their most personal thoughts about their bodies.

These criticisms were then scripted into a conversation between two women in a cafe, with the original women within earshot to hear all the ugly things they had said about themselves, directed at someone else.

_____________________

If it's not acceptable to say it to someone else,

WHY SAY IT TO OURSELVES?

_____________________

The way my eyes sparkle when I am excited; 

and show raw emotion when I am hurt.

#OneBeautifulThought

xx

the game of life

Sleep is evading me this week.

I have laid (lain?*) awake for 3 nights in a row frustrated that my thoughts have not slowed; my eyes have not become heavy; and I have not drifted into a restful slumber.

My current state of restlessness seems here to stay.

So here I am at 3am rehashing a recent conversation with a friend; in which I tried (in my sleep deprived state) to explain my belief that oftentimes we encounter obstacles in our lives from which we must learn a lesson, otherwise similar challenges will continue to present themselves in the future (again and again.. And again) until the lesson is learnt.

F R O M   L E A R N I N G   C O M E S   G R O W T H 

and perhaps

N O N E   C A N   G R O W   W I T H O U T   L E A R N I N G

In any case, I have recently identified a recurring pattern in my life;

And based on my aforementioned beliefs, I am quite certain that this is no mere coincidence - 

I am supposed to learn something from this experience.

ie. This situation is providing me with the opportunity to grow.

Caught in this cycle, I have realised life is kind of like a high-stakes game of messed-up Monopoly -

You have landed on the Chance Card.

If you roll a 6 - 

Advance token to significant Personal Growth;

If you fail to roll a 6 - 

Go back 3 spaces; Internalise your life decisions; Pay the bank $200; and Miss a Turn.

Then try again...

Cue internal screaming 

"W H A T ' S   T H E   [insert expletive]   L E S S O N ?!"

So... because I am on a roll (pun intended) with the game metaphors;

I can explain this frustration very simply - 

LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES

(wait.. no, that's not it. haha.. #sorrynotsorry)

L I F E   I S   A   P U Z Z L E 

You have never seen a picture of the finished image; 

And you can't even be sure that you have all the right pieces.

Which brings me to my final piece of wisdom (at 4am...)

And ironically (because it certainly wasn't intentional)...

this little piece of advice is 100% applicable to the current challenge I have been battling.

And I am sure in the light of day it will make absolute sense to discard the ill-fitting pieces of my puzzle.

(One more analogy just for goodluck...)

Just as there are always a few extra, unnecessary parts in the little bag of nuts, bolts and screws that come with your flatpack IKEA furniture - 

Ill-fitting puzzle pieces in real-life add zero support to the overall structure; and are rarely worth hanging on to.

xx

*At this point - Who knows?!

wabi-sabi

"I'm a perfectionist"

That's the answer young Andie would give the prospective employers in interviews. As if I didn't have any other weaknesses than achieving perfection.

"Oh, Andie.. Such a perfectionist"

I became accustomed to hearing these words spoken about me, or to me, and I came to believe it was a compliment.

oh, how I was wrong.



- - -

P E R F E C T I O N   I S ,   B R O A D L Y ,  
A   S T A T E   O F   C O M P L E T E N E S S   A N D   F L A W L E S S N E S S

- Thanks wiki

- - -

Do you know what striving for perfection does to a girl's mind?

Well, it near sends her crazy.

As I grow and learn and discover new things about myself, I have come to realise that the quest for perfection is infact setting myself up for failure. 
[And while this isn't the first time I have blogged about this topic, I imagine it is probably not the last]

I can always look back on something and believe I should have done better; should have finished sooner; should should should.

Striving for perfection, much like adding salt to a batter instead of sugar, it looks like it will work, but it's a recipe for disaster.

So, I would like to introduce a new concept to you.

Or maybe not so new if you watched last season of the Australian TV show Wonderland?


W A B I - S A B I

It's a real thing! (I Wiki'd that too...)


Wabi-sabi nurtures all that is authentic by acknowledging three simple realities: 

nothing lasts;

nothing is finished; and 

nothing is perfect

the window

Sometimes I lie awake in bed at night and I wonder if certain events in my life are the direct result of  attracting bad luck from not forwarding those chain emails back in highschool. Am I being punished by the email Gods? Is this the reason I sometimes feel struck when I am down? One smite per email?

I'm just not an email forwarder. And I'm certainly not going to send it onto 227 of my bestest friends, just because it told me to. I'm a rebel like that..

BUT yesterday an email landed in my inbox, which I feel compelled to share. It didn't tell me I had to either, which is good, because nobody likes a bossy email.

So, here in my little blog corner, I have chosen to share a little a story courtesy of Moodscope with you, my friends; and maybe, just maybe, it will cancel out all that bad chain mail karma that's been haunting me for 15 years.

- - -

The view from my Paris apartment on my Great European Adventure

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One was allowed to sit up in his bed each afternoon to help drain fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

They talked for hours. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The other man began to live, for those short periods, where his world would be broadened and enlivened by the activity and colour of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every colour. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and the city skyline was seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described this in exquisite detail, the other man would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One afternoon the man by the window described a passing parade.

                                                                                                                                

Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it, in his mind's eye. Days and weeks passed.

                                  

One morning, the nurse arrived only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.

She was saddened and called the attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making him comfortable, she left.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the wonderful world outside.

Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it for himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man later asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Epilogue...

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

Today is a gift, that's why it is called 'the present'.

How accepting of today's gift are you?

Who can you help today?

'Le Meow' : Parisian Cat

xx

should = shit

I log into Blogger regularly.

Occasionally I post something new, or play around with a draft post that isn't quite working for me yet. But mostly, I log in, look at my drafts, decide that I have nothing new to say and log back out.

The thing is, I am often paralyzed by what I should post rather than what I want to post.

I never started this blog so that it could become my very own Dear Diary on the internet.

And, I honestly don't want to take it down that path.

But I started this blog for me. So the posts are allowed to be about what I want, rather than what you want. They're my rules.

About 2 months ago, I started seeing a new Naturopath. 

I like the concept of taking care of ourselves before we require a doctor. 

Doctors have to fix a problem that already exists - 

You have an illness? Take some antibiotics.

In my experience, doctors don't like the explore for an underlying cause of the illness, they merely treat the symptoms presented at the time of consult.

Regardless of my opinion on the medical industry, my Naturopath - who is also a kinesiologist and counsellor - works with me on establishing the cause of my symptoms.

On my very first visit I dubbed him my Magical Unicorn.

On my latest visit, the subject of my birthday was an easy topic of conversation, until I mentioned all of the things my life should include by now.

You know - the husband, the picket fence, dog, 2.5 kids....

And he gave me a pen and paper and told me write down the following mantra

Should = Shit

We discussed a world in which the word should is banished, and is instead is replaced by could.

Could has so much more freedom than Should.

It implies a choice. Options.

And with that wisdom, I realise he is 100% right.

In blogging and in life, there is no place for should.

I have the freedom to live as I please. Just as I have the freedom to blog about any topic that takes my fancy.

Because it's my blog. And it's my life. And I can do anything I want.

xx

stress is my middle name

This week, I am moving house for the seventh time in two years.

I've been a little out of sorts and everyone around me is telling me to be easy on myself because moving house is exhausting.

But there's a little voice in my head questioning if that is really a legitimate reason for my less-than-chirpy mood.

Insert My Friend Wiki  

...

Apparently, 'Moving House' gets 25 points on the Stress Scale. It doesn't say if you get to multiply that number by the number of moves though...

Test yourself.. How stressed is your life right now?

Life event	Life change units
Death of a spouse	100
Divorce	73
Marital separation	65
Imprisonment	63
Death of a close family member	63
Personal injury or illness	53
Marriage	50
Dismissal from work	47
Marital reconciliation	45
Retirement	45
Change in health of family member	44
Pregnancy	40
Sexual difficulties	39
Gain a new family member	39
Business readjustment	39
Change in financial state	38
Death of a close friend	37
Change to different line of work	36
Change in frequency of arguments	35
Major mortgage	32
Foreclosure of mortgage or loan	30
Change in responsibilities at work	29
Child leaving home	29
Trouble with in-laws	29
Outstanding personal achievement	28
Spouse starts or stops work	26
Begin or end school	26
Change in living conditions	25
Revision of personal habits	24
Trouble with boss	23
Change in working hours or conditions	20
Change in residence	20
Change in schools	20
Change in recreation	19
Change in church activities	19
Change in social activities	18
Minor mortgage or loan	17
Change in sleeping habits	16
Change in number of family reunions	15
Change in eating habits	15
Vacation	13
Christmas	12
Minor violation of law	11

Score of 300+: At risk of illness.

Score of 150-299: Risk of illness is moderate (reduced by 30% from the above risk).

Score <150: Only have a slight risk of illness.

From my marital breakdown, to the death of my beautiful Nan, to moving interstate and changing my line of work - and all within two years...... Shall we throw in 'Selling a House' for good measure?!

........ My score smashed 300.

I don't know if I should feel proud for still standing; or drop to floor in fetal position and cry...!

This test has definitely put some things into perspective for me though.

By this weekend, the move will be over and I will focus on looking after myself a little better.

That's a promise.

xx

you are beautiful

If only we could all occasionally see ourselves through someone else's eyes...

xx

Choosing Happy

When you choose your happiness, you become 

infinitely more productive, useful, and magnetic

to those around you. You enable yourself to

truely be of service.

xx

There's Still Time

per.spec.tive
[noun]

• a mental view or outlook;
• a way of regarding situations, facts, etc., and judging their relative importance;
• the proper or accurate point of view or the ability to see it;
• a view over some distance in space or time.

Another year; Another Birthday.

Sometimes I feel like I have lived an entire life time.

And then I find a quote like below and remember that all is not lost.

There is still time for me to live and love.

xx

An Ordinary Weekend

I had an ordinary weekend.

It was not exciting. It was not busy. It was just ordinary.

And I loved it.

Andy Warhol

I did my grocery shopping;

Took Emmy for a haircut;

Had brunch with friends;

Gave myself a manicure;

Took Emmy to the dog park; 

Caught up on some long overdue TV watching (Hello True Blood and Hart of Dixie); and

Made Mum some pancakes for afternoon tea.

Three glorious days spent doing whatever I pleased.

I'm all about the little things at the moment. And the little things make me happy.

xx

Lightbulb Moment

Lightbulb moment.

[noun]

"a moment of sudden inspiration, revelation, or recognition"

- thefreedictionary.com

A flash of clarity when we least expect it. A thought or idea in a moment of brilliance.

I think we all have them from time to time.

Mine happened this morning whilst walking Miss Emmy.

It was still dark out... I was convinced someone was following me the entire time! (On the plus side - the fear probably made me walk faster!)

And then I found the perfect pin!

It's time to stop waiting.

Watch this space.

xx

I Am Where I Should Be

Today's horoscope provided by news.com.au resonated with me..

You are doing something incredible. How could anyone else on this entire planet take on what you have taken on? How would they handle such a unique set of circumstances? You think they wouldn't find them exhausting too? Do you imagine that somehow, they would make a better job of it than you? Don't kid yourself. You are brave and brilliant. You are struggling... and you are surviving! Never mind the odd step back that you must inevitably keep taking; what is impressive are the many steps you have already made.

Perfect timing for me to remind myself that everything happens for a reason.

xx

Time Out

I took a very important test at the doctors last week.

It was a multiple choice test in a Marie Claire magazine from 2010..

Marie Claire, Dec 2010

Back to my test...

The results did not surprise me.

Hello, my name is Andie and I'm a stress junkie.


Most of the time its an unconscious reaction to often unavoidable situations in life and it's something I'm forever trying to work on.

I'm all in favour of a relaxing walk on the beach to de-stress, but in this somewhat 'unsummery' weather, my favourite way to relax and unwind is with a good old fashioned cup tea and a biscuit (or two).

On a side note - How can a doctor possibly be running 35 minutes late when your appointment is scheduled for 9am ?! No wonder I'm stressed..........

xx

Less Thinking

I'm a thinker.

I'm an over-thinker.

An over-analyser.

The girl who has a plan, a back up plan and also a plan incase the back up plan fails too.

I understand the excitement that comes from spontenaity and the unknown, but I like to know what to expect next. I like the control. I justify my constant need to control by saying that 'it's in my nature', part of my personality, my DNA. It's what makes me Me.

But the truth is, there have been times in the past 6 months when I have had absolutely no control over my situation and when I'm not sitting around dwelling on it I've had fun. I have realised that the world hasn't ended; the sky hasn't fallen. I have adjusted.

And then.. every so often, I have a weekend like the one just gone. Where I've lingered on a thought for a little too long and all of a sudden my controlling nature surfaces and I begin to panic about.. well.. everything.

I panic about my future. About my right now. About my life; my goals; my direction. And about my failures.

I panic about where I'll live. How I'll afford it. About making the wrong choice. Or not making any decisions at all.

It's all very overwhelming.

But I have to take a deep breath and remember :

Because I know that everything will be OK. Eventually.

And the over-thinking doesn't make thing easier. So I shouldn't waste my time.

xx

Image found here

Changing the World

Dear World,

Please don't take my smile.. I need it.

Sincerely, Andie
xx

Image found here

Inspiration

I found this image a few weeks ago and posted it on Facebook, but I think I need to print a copy to stick on my desk at work



Sidenote - Apparently my security settings were set Super High, which meant that noone could comment on the last few posts. I think I have fixed the problem now. Bear with me while I find my Blog-Legs.

xx