burnt

I went to the movies yesterday.

A lazy Sunday afternoon reclined in a Gold Class lounge chair with a glass of bubbles was a rare indulgence.

The movie?

B U R N T

 Here's a list of reasons you should go see this movie :

1. Bradley Cooper

2. Bradley Cooper

Oh.. You need other reasons?! 

Well, that's unexpected.

Perhaps it would help if you knew what it was about?
(Although I didn't before I saw it, so perhaps the element of surprise contributed to my enjoyment)

Adam Jones (Bradley Cooper) is a Chef who destroyed his career with drugs and diva behavior. He cleans up and returns to London, determined to redeem himself by spearheading a top restaurant that can gain three Michelin stars.

It is a sneak peak behind the scenes at the kind of restaurant people like me aspire to eat in.
And the dishes created are works of art. 
The very definition of the word #foodporn

I don't know what the critics are saying about this movie;
And I'm not raving about it - But I did enjoy it.

Did I mention Bradley Cooper?!

Although, at one point, mid-film, it did occur to me that his character embodied may traits  I (unintentionally) seem to find attractive in a guy -

Driven, talented, narcissistic.
Intelligent yet clueless.
Arrogant but irresistible.


(Yes - I realise this is kind of a problem........)

Lucky he's so damn good looking!

xx

dating dealbreakers [brought to you by that time i played on Tinder]

First of all ...

Don't roll your eyes / judge / pretend like you haven't played on Tinder yourself. 

Everyone's doing it.

Second of all ...

It lasted a week.

A week of swiping, and chatting, and swiping, and judging.

And then I realised -

I DON'T NEED TINDER TO ATTRACT WEIRDOS INTO MY LIFE.

I got it covered!!

But as if the tales of Tinder aren't entertaining enough on their own, 

I decided to bring some expertise to today's blog post;

So I have enlisted the help of none-other than my gal

B R I T N E Y   S P E A R S

*insert applause*

This post is not Tinder specific by any means..
It could apply to any online dating site (although I have no experience with those);
Or it might simply apply to a guys social media accounts or general day-to-day behaviour..


Let's start with :

T H E   L A M E   S E L F I E S

Gym selfies.

Shirtless selfies.

Shirtless gym selfies...

Urgh.

What these photos tell me :
This guy will never love anyone else as much as he loves himself.

U S I N G   P R O P S

Whether it's a puppy, an infant, a snake, or a tiger they have managed to coax into the photo;

My reaction is the same -

Is that really necessary?!

[Bonus points to the guy with the teacup pig though.. Did you know you can't get those in Australia?!]



T H E   S O F T    O P E N I N G   L I N E

'Hey'...

I literally have nothing to say to this.

P O S I N G   A S   A
" H U N T E R   /   G A T H E R E R "

Because how will I know that a guy is a manly man, able to provide for me, if he doesn't show evidence of that one time he caught a fish.

And then took off his shirt so he could take a photo with it.

T H E   O N E   L I N E R S

I'l leave this to your imagination, because this is not the place to repeat vulgar messages..

Obviously in an environment where I have the attention span of a 3-year old in a toy store, a guy needs to catch my attention.

Some guys are flirty, some are bold, and some are outright disgusting.

Very rarely did I pause and laugh at a creepy one-liner.

Except the guy who claimed to be "Harder than Chinese Maths"...

[I swiped left]

B E I N G   T H E   D U F F

There's a new term for this specific person in a friendship group.

The D.U.F.F. = Designated Ugly Fat Friend

And 99.9% of the time, the Tinder profile belongs to the ugly guy in the group photo.

This is not me being mean; this is science.

[It did make me wonder about the etiquette of swiping right to ask about the guy on the left in the second photo though...]

S H O W I N G  I   A M   N O T   R E Q U I R E D

This is kind of hard to explain..
Obviously I don't want to meet some guy who sits at home alone with his 5 cats every weekend..

 But if all photos include group shots of a guy with several hot female friends, I can't help but wonder why he isn't dating one of them.
Or assuming that he did at some point...
Or wants to...


Extra special mention to the guys who include a wedding pic as their photo;
in which it is evident that they were the groom.
You know what - Who am I to judge a person for being married before?!
But seriously? Using it as the profile pic?!
... Is this person still married? Does their wife know about their Secret Swiping?!


Need I say anything about the guy who chose to post a duck-face selfie...
with his mother vacuuming in the background?!

F A I L I N G   A T   E N G L I S H

I am very particular about spelling and grammar.

But even if I wasn't.. A grown man should know the difference between his
Your and You're; and
There; They're; Their.

These are the basics.

If nothing else - My week on Tinder provided some fantastic office gossip;
And made for great Show n Tell with my friends.

[Hot Tip : This isn't Snapchat - The screenshot is totally permitted]

And now we can all thank Britney for reminding us to keep our standards high.

The girl was once married for less time than I took to realise this app is not for me, and I would rather meet someone the old fashioned way -
Drunk and at the pub.

xx

bake it off

If you haven't seen this video yet - drop everything and watch it immediately.

[here]

I mean, what's not to love about a Taylor Swift / Jamie Oliver sing-a-long?!

And bless their cotton socks - It's all for charity, 

So they've cemented themselves as my favourite Pop Princess and my favourite Chef. 

Both would be invited to my 

C E L E B R I T Y   D I N N E R   P A R T Y 

You know the game - 

"If you were hosting a dinner party, which five people (alive or dead) would you invite?"  

Other potential guests on my exclusive list include Audrey Hepburn, Kloe Kardashian (that girl and I have a few things in common...); and Michael Buble.

Have a watch and a chuckle; maybe donate #standuptocancer and then tell me - Who's on your list??

xx

pass the popcorn

The number of ticket stubs floating in the bottom on my handbag has led me write this post..

I am certainly no Margaret Pomeranz or David Stratton when it comes to my movie knowledge or ability to review said films, but I know what I like and I know warm popcorn and a choctop always make the experience 100% better.

THE SECRET LIFE OF WALTER MITTY

I ventured out to the cinema alone for the very first time and saw this movie.

Perhaps it was my new found cinema-going independence, or perhaps it was because this movie gave me the sense that anyone can be/do/see anything they want, whatever it was - I really enjoyed this film.

I will admit, I am not a huge Ben Stiller fan, so I have some reservations at first, but the story and the scenery captured me from the beginning and I enjoyed every second of the journey.

««««

SAVING MR BANKS

I had zero expectations of this film. I literally had no idea what it was about.

I hadn't seen a single preview or read any reviews.

And I was so thankful, because that just made this movie even more magical.

Emma Thompson is perfect.

The soundtrack is (obviously) amazing.

The back story is heart-wrenching.

Tears were shed. Smiles happened.

My inner-child beamed with love for Disney.

True warm and fuzzy.

«««««

THE WOLF OF WALLSTREET

How much will you hurt me when I tell you that I just didn't love it?!
Don't get me wrong - Leonardo DiCaprio is freakin' fantastic.
And anyone who ever watched Neighbours, would be just so damn proud of Margot Robbie.
But after allll the rave reviews, I think I just expected more.....
It was long. And yes - I laughed, and grimaced, and squirmed.
But it's not a movie I can gush about.
Sorry I'm not sorry.

«««


ARE WE OFFICIALLY DATING?

OK.. there had to be one chick flick in the mix.
And this is it.
Funny? Yes
Relatable? Maybe
Worth the movie ticket? Probably not.
I've seen Zac do better. (Charlie St Cloud)
I've seen him do worse too.. (Hello, New Years Eve)
In the United States, this movie is called 'That Awkward Moment' and well.. it was.
Zac's gotten a little chubby, so the eye candy wasn't there. And I didn't feel the chemistry between him and his girlfriend Imogen Poots.
Bonus points to his onscreen BFF Daniel though.

Two memorable moments for me -
1. When his other BFF Mikey admits his life is over after his wife has cheated on him, because how did it go so wrong? After all "he checked all the boxes.. College degree, successful job, marriage"; and
2. When he cyber-stalks the guy who is in four of the girls Facebook photos, like an obsessed teenage girl [Admit it - You've done that too]

««


Argue if you want. But I call it how I see it.


And finally, because when I went to the movies on Friday night, all I really wanted to see was a little of this -

You're welcome

xx

girl on fire

I'm so proud of this moment

And all it took to arrive here

I'm proud of every lesson, every step

Every moment of weakness, pushing me to find more strength

Proud of every time that I was scared

And learned to become more brave

I'm proud of all the ways I've come closer

To my truth and closer to trusting myself

I believe that we are all flames

We have a light so brilliant inside of us

An inextinguishable source that once accessed 

Can set the world alight

I believe that there are no limits

Even during the time we feel most limited

There is NOONE that can hold us back

Even when surrounded by the worst nay-sayers

I've personally learned this over the past 2 years

So tonight let us be ourselves

Unobstructed

Unconfined

Free and fly in everyway!

Tonight let's make a promise to each other

To never dim, shrink or cave for anyone

Let's turn off the world and listen to our hearts

Beleiving exactly where we are is where we are meant to be

And even though we have so much more

of the journey to go through

Let's be proud of where we have come from!

I am proud of you

I send love to you

I'm so glad we are all here together

Let's shine on and set the world on FIRE!!!

- Alicia Keys
[Set the World on Fire Tour Program]

In concert - AMAZING

xx

my new bestie

Lazy Sunday mornings..

A cup of tea, a glossy mag  - There's nothing better.

This morning was all about Jennifer Lawrence. 

I heart her.

She's hilarious.

And she likes food.

And I think we could be BFF's...

xx

avril, is that you?!

Let it be known that I love Katy Perry..

I love her music, her style, her story.

And yes, I cry every damn time I watch her movie 'Part of Me'. So what?!

But her latest single, Roar - 

here

Ohhh the disappointment I feel when I hear it.

And on the weekend, I realised why I don't love the way I wish I did.

It's because she sounds like Avril Lavigne. During the verses, she's not singing, she's speaking. And it's very reminiscent of the Skater Boi style.

Why, Katy?! Whyyy?!

.I really hope the next single from her new album is better than this.

Anxiously waiting.....

xx

An Ode to Channing

I couldn't decide on a suitable post for my return to blogging after such a long hiatus.

There's just so much to catch up on!

But for now?

An Ode to Channing

If you haven't seen it - You're welcome.

If you have seen it - You're welcome.

On a sidenote - LOL @ Miley Cyrus. She deserves a blog post all of her own......

xx

New Tradition

I have started a new Christmas Tradition.

Inspired by myself; and dedicated to single ladies everywhere - I call it the Christmas Channing Marathon.

In previous years, Christmas Eve has involved watching the Carols by Candlelight, in actual candle light.

This year, I spent the night with Channing Tatum. Also in candlelight.

Hello Magic Mike and Dear John - Would you like to stay a while?

  

**swoon**

xx

Images 1; 2; 3; 4; 5; 6; 7; 8.

Bite Me

I have a crush.

On a vampire.

With smouldering eyes.

We've been spending some time together lately.

I've stuck photos of him up around my desk at work.


Allow me to share him with you...

Ian Somerholder

*swoon*

Find more swoon-worthy pics here.

xx

Girl Crush : Rachel Bilson

You know her from The OC..

But my appreciation of Rachel Bilson comes from her new show - Hart of Dixie.

Here's the deal - 

Fast-talking New Yorker Dr Zoe Hart (Rachel Bilson) graduates from college with dreams of becoming a cardio-thoracic surgeon just like her dad, but it doesn't work out quite the way she expected, so she accepts a job offer from a stranger to work with him at his small practice in Bluebell, Alabama. Upon arrival, Zoe finds out the kind man has passed away and she has inherited half his medical practice. 

Zoe soon discovers that not everyone is welcoming to newcomers, particularly young females doctors with impeccable style....

And yes (on and off the small screen) the girl has style.

ohmigod - LOOK at her.

And of course, there's the requisite mantastic eye-candy ...

Wilson Bethel - aka 'Wade'

Yeah - I'm speechless too...

Scott Porter - aka 'George Tucker'

Get on board..

You can thank me later.

xx

He's Deep

R Patz

Robert Pattinson

aka Edward Cullen from Twilight

I know he's not everyone's favourite vampire (actually.. he's got nothing on Eric Northman); but I recently found this quote from him which makes me swoon just a little...

"If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are. Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads."

Who knew he could be so deep?


This also gives me more incentive to make a start on the mountain of books that's sprouted next to my bed.. And this months book for the new bookclub I've joined.

Note to self : Make more time for reading.

xx

He's Chuck Bass

Chuck Bass.

Need I say more ?

We're gonna spend some time together this weekend.

Chuck Bass

On another note - this is my most re-pinned pin on Pinterest. Over 110 people have re-pinned this image because it's so fabulous.

Flowers, parcels and a foot-popping kiss. *swoon*

Happy weekend everyone.

xx

Weekend Plans

Twilight Marathon.

This weekend.

In preparation for Breaking Dawn : Part 1.

Super excited.

Slightly embarassed.

Don't judge me.

xx

p.s. I'm totes Team Jacob

Images from here & here

Once Upon A Time..

"When I was a little girl I used to read fairy tales. In fairy tales you meet prince charming and he's everything you ever wanted. In fairy tales the bad guy is always wearing a black cape so you always know who he is." - Taylor Swift

In fairy tales, the Princess doesn't have to worry about making the right decisions or choosing the right career path and she certainly doesn't question her direction in life. In fairy tales the story line is simple - Meet man of your dreams, fall madly in love and occassionally break into song whilst dancing through a forest.. (There's always a forest in a fairy tale).

Now, I realise that it would be terribly naive of me to believe that real life is as perfect as a fairy tale, but I must admit that it has been difficult to accept that life does not magically become 'happily ever after' the moment you say 'I Do'.

In fact lately I have found myself analysing the possibilities in my life since my story took a swift turn following a very sudden 'I Don't'.

The 'D-Word' doesn't exist in fairy tales. Princesses don't have to divide up the furniture and sell their castle. And admittedly, these are two things I never would have imagined myself doing, which gets me thinking about where I thought I would be in my life in my mid-20's. (Here's a hint : Separated from my husband was never on the list).

Many of my friends have reached their mid-20's and decided it's time to settle down. Some are engaged to be married and others have started their own families. And here I am writing my own fairy tale, which starts well after most stories end.

The question now is what will happen in the next chapter? Where will the next scene be set? The Princesses in traditional fairy tales didn't have to worry about their careers or their life decisions, but the uncertainty is what makes life exciting. I'm living my own 'Choose Your Own Adventure'.

And, I guess I need to remind myself that not all fairy tales are perfect.. I mean, Snow White lived in a house with seven men and Sleeping Beauty married a perfect stranger just because he kissed her while she was asleep.

But Taylor Swift is right - It would be really helpful if the bad guys in real life wore a cape, so you knew to stay away from them...

xx

Winter Warmth

It's been cold in Adelaide.

Like, REALLY cold.

(OK, Bree - It's no Canberra!!!)

But please allow me to add some heat to your weekend courtesy of my Pinterest Board - swoon.

Chad Michael Murray - aka Lucas Scott (One Tree Hill)

Chase Crawford aka Nate Archibald (Gossip Girl)

Ed Westwick aka Chuck Bass (Gossip Girl)

Ian Somerhalder aka Damon Salvatore (The Vampire Diaries)

As my fellow Cool Pod member Jodie would say - they are Mantastic.

Happy weekend.

xx