Tuesday, 16 February 2016

afraid of love

I wanted to write a post about love to coincide with Valentine's Day.

Wanted to.

As in, kept sitting in front of my computer and staring at the screen.

Scrolling through Insta quotes and Pinterest Pins and not finding the perfect words around which I could form my thoughts.


A very quick self-evaluation would have me admit that this is because

I  D O N ' T   D O   F E E L I N G S

But honestly?

It's because I do!
But I never write about them here.

I write about fluffy stuff.
Don't I?!
My last post is about the complexities of modern dating in a world of situationships!
Other topics about which I choose write, I will happily (and endlessly) discuss/debate/deliberate.
With anybody.

And so, it soon became apparent that I am not suffering from an absence of feelings.
But quite the opposite.

I have recently become incredibly aware of who is reading these words.
My thoughts.
My opinions.
My feelings.

And all of a sudden, I am suffering from writers block.

And then I remembered this gem.

As I read this quote,, I am reminded of that time I wrote about vulnerability.
And that time I wrote about trust.

So perhaps I am writing about my feelings far more often than I admit to myself.

S H I T !

How did that even happen?!

And if that's the case, then why am I having such difficulty forming thoughts around what is arguably The Most Important Feeling Of Them All?


The short answer?
(Also known as 'the brutally honest, shut-my-eyes-and-say-it-quick' answer)

Because I have spent so much time (and energy) avoiding it.

*Insert huge thank-goodness-I-finally-got-that-off-my-chest exhale here*

So suddenly I am dealing with writer's block and a brand new revelation, 
(Which ironically has come to me, only as I write...)
I think it's best if I allow someone else to reveal my feelings on my behalf...

Yup. Terrified of love. Right here. Me.

But now I'm publicly declaring that is all about to change.


Well let's all take a minute to remember my word and focus for the next 12 months*...

And then break it down nice and simple :
And if there's one way a person should love - 
It is fearlessly.


*Bonus points to those who remembered what it was.

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