Thursday, 9 June 2016

the orange juice and milk theory

When I was younger, I looked up to my older (and only) sister.
Both physically because there's an (almost) 5 year age gap between us;
And emotionally, with adoration.

Don't get me wrong...

I still look up to her.
Because she is like, 6 foot tall or something; 
But also because I think she possesses amazing qualities that I envy.
She is energetic and wields an enthusiasm for life that is endearing and contagious.

I digress.

The point is - 
She's the Big Sister,
And as the Big Sister, it was her job to teach me things.
To impress her skills and knowledge upon me.
To share her wisdom, so that I could be cool
Just. Like. Her.

Insert the story about the time my cool Big Sister taught me that mixing orange juice and milk in a glass,
then sculling said concoction would cause excessive vomiting, 
thus ensuring you were guaranteed a Sick Day and wouldn't have to go to school.

Yes, it really happened.
No, she doesn't remember it.

We practically had to be on our death bed to be granted a day off school, 
So this was a fool proof plan.

AND (she assured me), 
Once you'd vommed a couple of times,
You'd feel fine;
So, could enjoy your day at home tucked up on the couch watching trashy day time tv.

She might have been a Child Genius...

I'm not dragging us all down Memory Lane for no reason BTW.

But simply to introduce you to 
T H E   O R A N G E   J U I C E   
A N D   M I L K   T H E O R Y

They simply don't go together.

Separately ?
No problems*.
(*Lactose intolerance excluded)

But together?
Not recommended.

Here's the core of my Theory - 
Some people are Orange Juice;
And others are Milk.

So what does that mean?
Well, they simply don't go together.

(For the record, my sis and I are more like a Vodka Orange combination...
The perfect mix of sweet and fun)


No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...