Starts with Cupcakes: Time Heals

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Time Heals

[Brace yourselves.. it's about to get deep up in here]

It's been almost 2 years since my husband decided to leave our marriage. I've decided to write about it now because for a very long time my perspective was negative.

I FAILED.

Those are the words I would find myself thinking late at night. When I had a moment alone. Or when someone innocently asked if I was in a relationship or why I was single.

I FAILED.

Those are powerful words.

They consumed me.

They defined me.

I wore a white dress and a veil; Carried a bouquet of flowers down the aisle; Stood in front of all of our family and friends and said vows; I promised to love this one person until death do us part.

I believed that I would live a long and happy life with this one man...

And so, I FAILED.

I became a statistic. Another silly girl who married too young and didn't understand the enormous commitment of marriage.

I felt that people who didn't know me, judged me.

Hey, I felt like people who did know me judged me.

And I was also disappointed because I had a plan. Hopes and dreams of how life should be;

And divorce was certainly never part of that plan.

* * *

It's true when they say time heals. In the moment, during the hurt and the suffering, those words seem empty and meaningless. But weeks; months; years later the pain lessens and instead of looking back and wondering why, I can smile and be thankful.

I have grown.

I have become strong.

I have survived.

And most importantly I have realised that I am not a failure.

Yes - my marriage ended.

Yes - I probably am a statistic of young marriages ending in divorce.

But my future is bright.

The plan has changed. And that's OK.

I am OK.

(Actually.. more than OK!)

Two years on, I can now see my marriage as a path I had to walk in order to learn the lessons that have shaped me.

I know that's very philosophical.. But time has given me perspective. And now I can appreciate my past rather than resent it.