[Brace yourselves.. it's about to get deep up in here]
It's been almost 2 years since my husband decided to leave our marriage. I've decided to write about it now because for a very long time my perspective was negative.
Those are the words I would find myself thinking late at night. When I had a moment alone. Or when someone innocently asked if I was in a relationship or why I was single.
Those are powerful words.
They consumed me.
They defined me.
I wore a white dress and a veil; Carried a bouquet of flowers down the aisle; Stood in front of all of our family and friends and said vows; I promised to love this one person until death do us part.
I believed that I would live a long and happy life with this one man...
And so, I FAILED.
I became a statistic. Another silly girl who married too young and didn't understand the enormous commitment of marriage.
I felt that people who didn't know me, judged me.
Hey, I felt like people who did know me judged me.
And I was also disappointed because I had a plan. Hopes and dreams of how life should be;
And divorce was certainly never part of that plan.
* * *
It's true when they say time heals. In the moment, during the hurt and the suffering, those words seem empty and meaningless. But weeks; months; years later the pain lessens and instead of looking back and wondering why, I can smile and be thankful.
I have grown.
I have become strong.
I have survived.
And most importantly I have realised that I am not a failure.
Yes - my marriage ended.
Yes - I probably am a statistic of young marriages ending in divorce.
But my future is bright.
The plan has changed. And that's OK.
I am OK.
(Actually.. more than OK!)
Two years on, I can now see my marriage as a path I had to walk in order to learn the lessons that have shaped me.
I know that's very philosophical.. But time has given me perspective. And now I can appreciate my past rather than resent it.
That there is a big deal in itself!
And so, as with all life changing moments, I can summarise things with a quote from my favourite teen drama of all time - -
|One Tree Hill|