should = shit

I log into Blogger regularly.

Occasionally I post something new, or play around with a draft post that isn't quite working for me yet. But mostly, I log in, look at my drafts, decide that I have nothing new to say and log back out.

The thing is, I am often paralyzed by what I should post rather than what I want to post.

I never started this blog so that it could become my very own Dear Diary on the internet.

And, I honestly don't want to take it down that path.

But I started this blog for me. So the posts are allowed to be about what I want, rather than what you want. They're my rules.

About 2 months ago, I started seeing a new Naturopath. 

I like the concept of taking care of ourselves before we require a doctor. 

Doctors have to fix a problem that already exists - 

You have an illness? Take some antibiotics.

In my experience, doctors don't like the explore for an underlying cause of the illness, they merely treat the symptoms presented at the time of consult.

Regardless of my opinion on the medical industry, my Naturopath - who is also a kinesiologist and counsellor - works with me on establishing the cause of my symptoms.

On my very first visit I dubbed him my Magical Unicorn.

On my latest visit, the subject of my birthday was an easy topic of conversation, until I mentioned all of the things my life should include by now.

You know - the husband, the picket fence, dog, 2.5 kids....

And he gave me a pen and paper and told me write down the following mantra

Should = Shit

We discussed a world in which the word should is banished, and is instead is replaced by could.

Could has so much more freedom than Should.

It implies a choice. Options.

And with that wisdom, I realise he is 100% right.

In blogging and in life, there is no place for should.

I have the freedom to live as I please. Just as I have the freedom to blog about any topic that takes my fancy.

Because it's my blog. And it's my life. And I can do anything I want.

xx

my day of cake*

*Please be assured that the cakes in the below photos were not all consumed in one day.

Here it is - 

The Birthday Wrap Up

I had no plans for Birthday Week or Birthday Day, and in the end, that turned out to be a good thing, as my Dad frightened us all with a health scare.

He's OK.

*sigh*

Thankfully cake is good for celebrating and eating in stressful situations.

And lucky I like cake because it was a key feature in this years festivities.

 

So now, the Birthday celebrations are over for another year.

And I am in a cake-coma.

xx

HOLY COW

Bet you haven't heard that saying since the 90's...

Here it is again for dramatic effect - 

Holy COW!

I know many people like to reflect on their life/dreams/goals at New Years.

But I like to look over my shoulder on the eve of my Birthday.

Only 4 sleeps to go and my head is spinning with thoughts and concerns about being another year older..

I will be twenty-eight. 

The past year has been anything but dull.. but did I get any wiser?!

I am certainly not where I thought I would be at this point in my life.

Am I learning from past mistakes?

What does the universe have in store for me?

How the hell did I get here?!


**Let's take a quick skip down memory lane** 

2010

3 years ago
On my twenty-fifth birthday, I ordered an amazing 3-tier cake and celebrated turning a Quarter of a Century.
I was married.
And I knew with a level of certainty that the years to come would include my husband and with some luck a baby or two.
My mum bought me a sewing machine, and to this day, I still haven't used it....

2011

2 years ago
Two weeks before my birthday, I sold the house that was supposed to be my family home. It took me less than 3 years to turn it into a home that I loved; and over 7 months to sell it.
I packed Miss Emmy up to live with my mum and then I launched in a Share House; with 2 beautiful friends who introduced me to G&T's and Dirty Dancing.

2012

1 year ago
I had just moved again.
Taking a leap of faith and launching into the world solo. Well.. Almost. Miss Emmy was with me and together we were invincible!
I had bought a new place to start a new life and my beautiful sister visited from interstate to celebrate with me.

2013

now
I have moved AGAIN!
I once believed that I was supposed to settle down and build a home in the one place.
Now everything I thought I once knew for certain was an illusion, and now I am trying to navigate a world with a brand new outlook. It's confusing. And scary. But also exciting and new.

I don't know if I am necessarily wiser. But I am definitely more open-minded.

Now facing the year ahead with my sister and puppy by my side, I feel like anything is possible.

And that in itself is the perfect Birthday gift.

xx

buddha knows best

“to keep the body in good health is a duty, otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.” 

–buddha

birthday month has arrived

I like to celebrate birthdays.

From small occasions that include nothing more than a nice dinner; to huge affairs involving balloons and cocktails. Not to mention cake.

There shall always be cake.

For my birthday, I have always loved commandeering more than my fair share of celebrations. I like to make The Annual Festival of Andie a merry occasion for all involved.

Drinks with work colleagues; dinner with family; lunch with friends. Food is always a significant component of my plans.

But on this first day of November 2013 – for once time in my life, I don’t have plans.

I think it’s going to be a quiet occasion. Nothing like previous years.

But there shall be cake. 

xx

the ULTIMATE cake pan

I haven't baked a full-of-sugar-smothered-with-icing kinda cake in a long time.

Partly because I've had other things goin on;

And also because despite my daily chocolate consumption, I am trying to curb my sugar addiction.

One cake at a time.

BUT...

cakewich

THIS cake pan is the ULTIMATE cake pan in the history of cake pans!!!

Because LOOK at what you can bake with this ULTIMATE cake pan - - 

Fairy bread cake

A fairy bread cake!!

oh my goodness

I don't even have words to describe how amazing I think this is!

This is THE CAKE I want for my birthday this year.

So. Much. Excitement.

xx

stress is my middle name

This week, I am moving house for the seventh time in two years.

I've been a little out of sorts and everyone around me is telling me to be easy on myself because moving house is exhausting.

But there's a little voice in my head questioning if that is really a legitimate reason for my less-than-chirpy mood.

Insert My Friend Wiki  

...

Apparently, 'Moving House' gets 25 points on the Stress Scale. It doesn't say if you get to multiply that number by the number of moves though...

Test yourself.. How stressed is your life right now?

Life event	Life change units
Death of a spouse	100
Divorce	73
Marital separation	65
Imprisonment	63
Death of a close family member	63
Personal injury or illness	53
Marriage	50
Dismissal from work	47
Marital reconciliation	45
Retirement	45
Change in health of family member	44
Pregnancy	40
Sexual difficulties	39
Gain a new family member	39
Business readjustment	39
Change in financial state	38
Death of a close friend	37
Change to different line of work	36
Change in frequency of arguments	35
Major mortgage	32
Foreclosure of mortgage or loan	30
Change in responsibilities at work	29
Child leaving home	29
Trouble with in-laws	29
Outstanding personal achievement	28
Spouse starts or stops work	26
Begin or end school	26
Change in living conditions	25
Revision of personal habits	24
Trouble with boss	23
Change in working hours or conditions	20
Change in residence	20
Change in schools	20
Change in recreation	19
Change in church activities	19
Change in social activities	18
Minor mortgage or loan	17
Change in sleeping habits	16
Change in number of family reunions	15
Change in eating habits	15
Vacation	13
Christmas	12
Minor violation of law	11

Score of 300+: At risk of illness.

Score of 150-299: Risk of illness is moderate (reduced by 30% from the above risk).

Score <150: Only have a slight risk of illness.

From my marital breakdown, to the death of my beautiful Nan, to moving interstate and changing my line of work - and all within two years...... Shall we throw in 'Selling a House' for good measure?!

........ My score smashed 300.

I don't know if I should feel proud for still standing; or drop to floor in fetal position and cry...!

This test has definitely put some things into perspective for me though.

By this weekend, the move will be over and I will focus on looking after myself a little better.

That's a promise.

xx

you are beautiful

If only we could all occasionally see ourselves through someone else's eyes...

xx

guilty as charged

I am the worst for saying "Is it Friday yet" atleast 7 times a week. 

And when I say 7, it's probably closer to 7 million.

I am guilty of putting conditions on situations - 

"Oh.. this would be amazing, if..."

or

"I love this, but..."

Or the ultimate -

"I will be happy when..."

I am thinner

I have a new car

My hair is longer

I have new clothes

I have enough money 

I get a new job

I spend more time with friends

I spend more time on 'me'

I go for walks before sunrise

I sleep in until midday

When, when, when

If, if, if

It's conditional; it's impossible.

And it's exhausting.

xx