overthinker

I've written about my chronic overthinking in the past.

Have you ever heard the name Katrina Webb?

I'll admit that until last week, I hadn't.

She's is an Australian Paralympic Athlete.

She has won Gold, Silver and Bronze medals in 3 Olympics.

And last week she came to my workplace to give a speech on setting and achieving goals, 

and overcoming fears.

She spoke about overcoming adversity, 

accepting our own vulnerability, 

and using mindfulness to quiet the mind.

Everyone in the room was captivated, 

not only by her sheer determination to succeed, 

but by her honesty and conviction.

Stories of own personal fears and challenges were relatable.

In sharing her experiences of self-doubt and her strategies to overcome her negative thinking, 

she was able to unite us.

Often, we are not unique in our fears,

We are unique in how we choose to deal with them.

O U R   M I N D S

C A N   B E   O U R   B I G G E S T   S U P P O R T E R S

 A N D   O U R   S T R O N G E S T   E N E M Y

xx

#IAmStigmaFree

Here's a little note to you and to me today;

in honour of 

M E N T A L   H E A L T H   A W A R E N E S S   W E E K

.:  5-11 October 2015  :.

D I D   Y O U   K N O W ? ?

 The average person tells 4 lies a day or 1460 a year; 

a total of 87,600 by the age of 60. 

And the most common is: 

I'm Fine.

"That's the stigma, because, unfortunately, we live in a world where if you break your arm, everyone runs over to sign your cast, but if you tell people you're depressed, everyone runs the other way. That's the stigma. We are so, so, so accepting of any body part breaking down, other than our brains. And that's ignorance. That's pure ignorance. And that ignorance has created a world that doesn't understand depression, that doesn't understand mental health."

xx

colour me pretty

 Picture this...

T H E  T I M E

Sunday afternoon.

T H E   L O C A T I O N

My lounge room;

Sun streaming through my window.

T H E  S E T T I N G

Me, on my couch, under a blanket;

Music on;

A pot of textas by my side;

And a colouring book in my lap.

T H E   A C T I V I T Y

Colouring In.

T H E   J U S T I F I C A T I O N

Experts say it generates wellness, quietness

and also stimulates brain areas related to motor skills, the senses and creativity.

T H E   P S Y C H O L O G Y

(aka the 'super official justification'

that brings back all kinds of memories of first year uni and Psychology 101)

"The action involves both logic, by which we colour forms, and creativity, when mixing and matching colours. This incorporates the areas of the cerebral cortex involved in vision and fine motor skills [coordination necessary to make small, precise movements]. The relaxation that it provides lowers the activity of the amygdala, a basic part of our brain involved in controlling emotion that is affected by stress" says psychologist Gloria Martínez Ayala

T H E  O U T C O M E

Total Bliss.

* * *

I feel in every girl there lives a spirit,

a wild pixie,

that if let go, would run and dance in grassy fields

until the end of the world.

And when that girl grows up, that pixie hides,

but it's always there,

peeking out behind old eyes and reading glasses,

laughing..

waiting..

to one day dance again.

                                          -- source unknown

V E R D I C T

Connect with your inner-child again.

Colouring just got cool.

xx

hey you! pay attention...

N O T E   T O   S E L F

To Me.

To You.

Listen Closely.

Pay Attention.

📷 In My Home

You yourself, as much as

anybody in the entire universe,

deserve your love and affection.

                                                          -- Buddha




House bound and recovering from surgery this week has given me the time to
1. Analyse every detail of my home; and
2. Take a few photos of the pretties that surround me.

Oh.. And

3. Remind myself that I am singularly responsible for my own health and happiness.

More so, I have come to realise that I DESERVE my own affection.

As much as anybody else.

It is fascinating (and somewhat heartbreaking) that I am not willing to give my own body the time and patience that I would afford to anybody else in my life to recover from this procedure.

Instead, I have found myself feeling frustrated at being tired and drowsy from the medication.

And ironically, pushing my mind and body through the pain has resulted in what is probably a slower than desirable recovery.

What a shitty cycle to be in.

And so, having learnt this lesson myself during the week (and because I wanted to share with you that very pretty photo from my very own living room) I am going to remind you one more time -

xx

#OneBeautifulThought

Thought of the Day: 

W O M E N   A R E   B I T C H E S *

* to themselves

Ever wondered what it would sound like if your inner critic spoke out loud?

Dove France have launched an ad campaign based on the hideous things we say to ourselves.

The dialogue for this ad was made by asking women on the street to record their most personal thoughts about their bodies.

These criticisms were then scripted into a conversation between two women in a cafe, with the original women within earshot to hear all the ugly things they had said about themselves, directed at someone else.

_____________________

If it's not acceptable to say it to someone else,

WHY SAY IT TO OURSELVES?

_____________________

The way my eyes sparkle when I am excited; 

and show raw emotion when I am hurt.

#OneBeautifulThought

xx

#sharethegoodstuff

Have you ever stumbled across a blog/website/instagram account and marveled in the beauty of such a simple concept that you think to yourself - 

I must shout my praise of this person and their awesomeness from the rooftops?

I have.

So I am.

May I introduce to you...

In the interest of full disclosure – Yes, this little marvel is brought to you by a very special friend of mine. BUT I didn’t know that when I first came across it in its infancy.

The sheer simplicity of this project is what makes it so damn special.

"It might only be a small thing, 

but One Such Thing is something to someone."

Let us marvel in the beauty of our daily lives.

Let us take a moment to appreciate just one thing in our world, for which we are truly grateful.

Sandy Toes

I've shared my One Such Thing.. Have you?

xx

let's talk gratitude

grat-i-tude [noun] 
Gratitude, thankfulness, gratefulness, or appreciation is a feeling or

 attitude in acknowledgment of a benefit that one has received or 

will receive.

No other words today. There's no explanation required.

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the

 foundation for all abundance.” 

― Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose

xx

checking out

I am one of those people who is never without her phone.

Not because I have children who need to contact me 24/7;
or because I use it for work;
To be perfectly honest, if it rings, I probably won't answer it....

But I keep my phone with me At. All. Times. simply to keep connected to the cyber world.

To Facebook

To Instagram

To LinkedIn

To Emails

And most recently (and perhaps embarrassingly) to Tinda

Yup.. I went there.

And shortly after downloading this new app for singles, and the fun wore off, I realised how much of myself I was dedicating to these connections.

I was checking all of the above several times a day.
It was the very first thing I did in the morning upon waking.
And then it came full circle, when I found myself clutching my phone in the dark doing one more scan right before I went to sleep at night.

At work, I had a complete inability to stay focused on any given task without stopping to have a quick (and sometimes not so quick) peak at my phone.

I could barely sit through a meal without checking out if anything new was happening in cyberspace while I ate.

I, like many others, did not merely sit in front of the television and solely focus on whatever was on the big screen. Nope - dual screens all the way for me, thanks very much.

And also like many others (although I'm sure they wouldn't admit to doing it) having a sneaky scroll whilst driving.


Here's the thing though -

I was putting a lot of emotion into all these connections.

Constant comparisons between me and my 'friends' on Facebook.
Watching people I knew 10 years ago get married and have babies.

Jealousy over others' Instagram images - Travel adventures and food envy

Feeling validated by how many people 'liked' my status update or photo;

Feeling depressed when it didn't receive the response I had anticipated;

And worse - feeling confused when someone I barely know 'likes' a random photo (weirder still if it's an old photo, as if they've been creeping my account)

And then came Tinda.

The straw that broke the camels back.

A little swipe to the right and suddenly I had matches and feelings of a soaring ego..

Then came the conversations

And suddenly I found myself feeling obligated

To write back quickly, to seem interested. But not too eager.
To come up with something witty. But ensure it would come across the right way in text.
To sound interesting. Be engaging.
Fun. Flirty. Fabulous.

urghh

I didn't even know these people.

Why was I so invested?

And then I realised this was true of all my connections.

These apps should be used for keeping up to date with people I want to.

So I reevaluated my investment; my time and my effort.

I deleted Tinda within a week of downloading it.

Then, I culled 'friends' from my accounts

And now I am going one step further and putting boundaries in place.
You know, just a little distance between my phone and I.

We're not breaking up, we're just having some space. Time to think.

No more phone in bed;
And no more phone during meal times.

And now I feel much more at peace.

And my news feeds are suddenly full of people I actually care about.

Instgram @thegoodquote

xx

stillness of the mind

photo by me

"The full moon is a time of positive opportunity if you use it correctly.  It can increase your positive energy or conversely, it can wreak havoc on your emotions."

- Mind Body Green 

~

Last night I harnessed the energy from the December Full Moon and participated in a Guided Meditation Session.

Those are three words I never imagined myself discussing, much less being a part of.

But I went in with no judgement 

(fear? yes; uncertainty? yes; judgement no)

My initial reaction to "we're going to practice meditation" was "But how?!"

The concept of calming my elephant mind seemed IMPOSSIBLE.

Yet within a calm atmosphere aided by soothing music and gentle instruction/guidance I was able to fall into a state between constant mind chatter and sleep.

Call me a hippy if you will, but this stuff works. 

 And I truly enjoyed the experience.

here

A meditative space is an amazing space to be in.

The guided meditation bought up some very powerful emotions for me, and gave me the chance to really envisage all that I want in 2014.

It also taught me that anything is possible. You just have to believe it.

But before you can believe it, you have to imagine it.

And how can we imagine if we don't give our minds the time or opportunity to open up to new ideas?

How often do we set aside an hour, or even 10 minutes to just sit and be still. 

I live my life manically, with impossible goals and no clear path to achieve them and it's exhausting.

To stop and take the time to sit with myself was an incredible luxury.

And I realised that that in itself is ridiculous.

Time for ourselves should be scheduled and honoured like any other commitment.

We commit to giving time to work/friends/family, especially at this time of the year. And we neglect ourselves.

"The healing powers of meditation are legendary and the benefits of full moon meditation are no exception."

- Project Meditation

xx

intruder alert

I find it ironic that at a time when I am working on building a strong emotional, spiritual and physical foundation for my future, someone from my past pops up out of nowhere.

It's particularly amusing since one of my recent posts exposed The Drama Llama, so now more than ever, I am aware of the affect dramatisation can have on a situation.

The way to take the drama out of a story is to speak only of the facts - 

My marriage ended over 2.5 years ago;

Today I received a text from my ex;

I haven't heard from him in over a year;

My car needs a service; 

My car service people really need to update their records.

If this were any other situation, or person involved, I would make inappropriate comments about "car servicing"...

But in this case, I am mostly confused. 

Why would he think that 

a. I didn't already know that; and 

b. I needed him to remind me, especially when he was never very good at those kinds of things when we were married?!

Anyway.. over-analysing aside, this was a good time for me to remind myself that 

It. Doesn't. Matter.

I don't have to reply. I don't have to think about it. I don't have to engage.

And with a HUGE breath, I am empowered.

My past has no place in my future.

It is my story, but it doesn't define me.

xx

introducing the drama llama effect

Hello, my name is Andie and I am a recovering Drama Queen.

*Hello Andie*

I have been living a drama-filled life. And until recently, I realised that I am so accustomed to this state of being that I felt a sense of discomfort if life seemed to be flowing 'too easily'.

But here's the thing - some of the drama in my life was created within ME.

I would make up scenarios in my head of all that could go wrong;

Get tangled in a web of other people's troubles;

And exaggerate stories to engage everyone with my woeful situation.

Hey, this is a circle of trust, isn't it?! Don't judge!

Plus I'm a blogger.. who would read if my writing wasn't atleast a little entertaining?!

I don't think it's time for me to go to rehab just yet. But it was recently bought to my attention that if I want to accept peace, love and happiness into my life, I had to hang up my DQ cape.

 With this new conscious effort, I have realised that a lot of the drama in our lives takes place in our own heads, and it’s usually because we’re too deeply immersed in a difficult situation to recognize it isn’t as dire as it seems.

Drama is only possible if we engage with it.

And this, right here, is the single realisation that has me entering this Holiday Season with a feeling of peace and tranquility.

“Peace of mind is not the absence of conflict from life, but the ability to cope with it.” 

~Unknown

So my tip, if you too are a recovering Drama Queen who engages with other people's stories - 

Be an observer. Not everything needs a reaction

And trust me - the change you will feel is incredible.

xx

head vs heart

Have you ever done a personality test?

You know the type - A questionnaire or other standardized instrument designed to reveal aspects of an individual's character or psychological makeup.

Often used in the recruitment process, or during a 'Team Building Day' at work.

According the Meyers-Briggs, I am an INTJ.

Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging

One of the rarest of the sixteen personality types.

For the most part, I agree.

 INTJs are known as the "Systems Builders" of the types, perhaps in part because they possess the unusual trait of combining imagination and reliability. Whatever system an INTJ happens to be working on is for them the equivalent of a moral cause to an INFJ; both perfectionism and disregard for authority come into play. Personal relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be the INTJ's Achilles heel ... This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals ... Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense.

—Marina Margaret Heiss^[12]

INTJs are analytical. Like INTPs, they are most comfortable working alone and tend to be less sociable than other types. Nevertheless, INTJs are prepared to lead if no one else seems up to the task, or if they see a major weakness in the current leadership. They tend to be pragmatic, logical, and creative. They have a low tolerance for spin or rampantemotionalism. They are not generally susceptible to catchphrases and do not readily accept authority based on tradition, rank, or title.

INTJs are strong individualists who seek new angles or novel ways of looking at things. They enjoy coming to new understandings. They tend to be insightful and mentally quick; however, this mental quickness may not always be outwardly apparent to others since they keep a great deal to themselves. They are very determined people who trust their vision of the possibilities, regardless of what others think. They may even be considered the most independent of all of the sixteen personality types. INTJs are at their best in quietly and firmly developing their ideas, theories, and principles.

—Sandra Krebs Hirsch^[13]

I have always questioned Personality Testing, because I claim to have multiple personalities based on my mood - am I mad, playful, or focused when I am taking this test? 

Because I believe my state of mind will play a major part in determining my 'type'.

Specialists in the Personality Type field claim your core values will come through in a test, regardless of your mood.

Well.. it did say I like to 'disregard authority'!!

Anyway, in essence, my personality testing would have me believe that I am 100% ruled by my head. 

Not my heart.

here

So imagine my challenge, when having recently engaged a Life Coach, I was told to listen to my Truth.

Huh?!

How does my Truth fit in here?!

Simply put - my Truth and my heart are connected.

Our head is analytical; logical.

But it's also where fear resides. Our heads have an uncanny ability to convince us that anything outside our 'comfort zone' is a bad idea.

Which is when we must engage our Heart and our Truth.

I am learning that this is not always easy, after being controlled by my Head for so long.

Our Truth can determine how valid our fears are.

This is where our intuition comes into play.

With this new awareness in my toolkit I have been reading more and more about mindfulness, which is a concept I was first introduced to back in May.

The truth is, a simple understanding of mindfulness does not make for a peaceful mind.

It is a practice. And it's damn hard to begin with!

I am discovering that just because we can justify a decision with our Head, that does not automatically make it the right decision.

Think about it.

xx

An Elephant Mind

I am a multi-tasker.

I like to think this makes me super productive; but studies have shown that the opposite might infact be closer to the truth.

"People who multitask are actually less productive than people who focus on one thing at a time"  

 - -  University of Utah

Hmph!

I am terrible at doing one thing at a time.. 

Likely Scenario #1

Watching TV and playing on Pinterest on my laptop and texting someone or scrolling through Instagram on my iPhone;

Or

Likely Scenario #2

Preparing lunch, cooking dinner and baking a tray of cookies with the stereo blasting (which implies kitchen dancing) and checking Facebook on my iPhone.

So when my yoga instructor was explaining the concept of an 'Elephant Mind' to me in class this week, it resonated with me particularly because I am terrible at turning off the brain chatter because I am never concentrating on one thing only.

I even listen to music when going to sleep. 

My house is very rarely silent.

My brain doesn't understand the concept of noiselessness.

Stop it Brain

Anyway, back to the Elephant Mind - 

Explained to me as a herd of elephant stampeding through the mind.

Hardly a vision of serenity or meditation.

As Yogis we are supposed to quiet the brain chatter, calm the elephant mind, and simply be.

We are encouraged to be alert throughout the day, rather than moving through tasks and processes on auto-pilot.

"When was the last time you went for a walk and enjoyed your surroundings?" the instructor asked.

Ummm... probably never. My morning walks are full of constant mental reminders for the day ahead and plans for the weekend, thoughts of breakfast, or lunch, and probably dinner.. recapping conversations with friends, thinking about the latest family drama and wondering what's going to come next.

Chatter chatter chatter..

Sure, if there's a pretty view or a gorgeous sunset I'll probably notice it. 

And I'll have whipped out my phone and snapped a photo before you can say 'Instagram'!!

Mind Full, or Mindful?

It's hardly mindful.

This is a foreign concept to me. Something I need to work on. And that I can see will be a constant battle.

Wish me luck.

xx