vulnerability is not weakness

I'm not good at being vulnerable;
showing vulnerability;
or even pronouncing the damn word correctly (if I'm completely honest).

vul·ner·a·ble  (vŭl′nər-ə-bəl) adj.

a. Susceptible to physical harm or damage: 

trees that are vulnerable to insects;

b. Susceptible to emotional injury, especially in being easily hurt: 

a lonely child who is vulnerable to teasing.

c. Susceptible to attack: 

"We are vulnerable both by water and land, without either fleet or army" (Alexander Hamilton).

d. Open to censure or criticism; assailable: 

The mayor is vulnerable to criticism on the issue.

VULNERABLE  =   SUSCEPTIBLE   =   DISADVANTAGE  =  EXPOSED  =  WEAK

Via Instagram  @TheGoodQuote

I blame Beyonce, Christina and Britney for their incessant singing about being a Survivor, Fighter and Stronger than yesterday for making vulnerability seem undesirable.

Their music taught girls (ok.. maybe just me) that we must we must be independent, fierce AND dirrty.

How come no one is singing about the strength of showing vulnerability ?

The raw truth of allowing the world (or even just that special someone) to see you for exactly who you are ?

Maybe if I had grown up with anthems that taught me that vulnerability is what connects one human to another, I wouldn't resist it so damn much!

OK.. probably not.

The walls I have built around me; and the barriers I have created have become somewhat of a joke among my closest friends.



- - -

"Her heart was a secret garden; 
And the walls were very high"

- - -



And whilst it may not be a direct result of singing pop lyrics into my hairbrush throughout my teens (and for many years later) -

My abstinence of vulnerability is real.

We should be teaching young girls that being ambitious, confident and intelligent is not mutually exclusive to showing vulnerability.

We should remind ourselves that closing ourselves off to the world in fear of showing vulnerability prohibits possibility.

We should be making a statement;
And shouting from the rooftops -


V U L N E R A B I L I T Y   I S   N O T   A   W E A K N E S S

xx

my new bff

I don't always get into a tv show.. 

But when I do, I binge watch 500 episodes in one day, 

become entangled in the story line,

and feel like the characters are not only a part of my life,

but my very best friends.

Insert Donna from Suits.

Men want to sleep with her;

And women want to be her.

I want her as my bestie.

The woman just gets me.

Like every time she wears her Sassy Pants.

And how she knows that you can kick ass at work and still keep everybody's secrets.

And the way she just calls it like it is.

And how she knows that ice cream has therapeutic properties.

And that alcohol makes everything better.

Basically, I'm in love with her. 

And she obviously loves me too....

xx

one mermaid tail, please

K I D S   A R E   W E I R D

I don't get them.

If you gave one to me to hold -
there's a good chance I would place it gently on the ground...
and back away slowly.

Just kidding!

Kind of...

Anyway, I digress.

Not too long ago, I wrote about childlike wonder in relation to playfulness.

Remember?
The one about jumping on trampoline's.

Today I am again inspired by these weird mini-humans who have such an incredible view of the world.

Of themselves.

Whilst we adults cannot see past the N E G A T I V E ;
the I M P E R F E C T I O N S ;
the F A I L U R E..

Kids see O P P O R T U N I T Y ;
P O T E N T I A L ;
endless  P O S S I B I L I T Y.


Check out this clip.
If you could change ONE thing about your body - 

What would it be???

So if I were to consider things from a childlike perspective,
I would have just one wish -

xx

;)

This is kind of like a Community Service Post.

An Open Forum.

An inquisitive question to the masses.

Please, please leave a comment; 

or email me; 

or send a Facebook message; 

or even stop me in the street if you have opinions about this topic...

I am always up for a chat if you agree; 

or friendly debate if you think I'm off the charts crazy.

The topic of discussion??

T H E   W I N K Y   F A C E

An innocent emoji to some.

A guilty connotation to others.

I'm was always firmly positioned in column B.

The Winky Face is flirty.

It is suggestive.

It is certainly not to be thrown around with blatant disregard of the consequences.

Don't believe me?!

Just ask Urban Dictionary.

And for the record, these were the PG rated explanations of this seemingly innocuous symbol.

H O W E V E R ...

My opinion is now wavering!

It seems that not everyone shares my understanding of The Winky Face.

Some people do use it in general conversation.

And that's just downright confusing!!!

Because once upon a time, it seemed to be a Secret Code.

ie. "I am sending you a winky face to make sure you are 100% certain that I am hitting on you"

But then Apple got all fancy introducing little cartoon emojis and suddenly there's Winky Face's all over the place!

The Secret Code was breached.

The Winky Face was compromised.

And now the world is in chaos.

So. Much. Confusion.

So tell me.... Do you Winky Face?!

xx

it's called a crackle

... although you may call it a 

H O N E Y   J O Y 

It really doesn't matter what you call them.

They are delicious.

And Mum requested a batch for Mother's Day.

So (like the good daughter that I am) I delivered the goods...

4 cups Corn Flakes

1 tablespoon honey

1/3 cup sugar

90g butter

Preheat oven to 150°C.

Line 24 patty pan with paper cases.

Melt butter, sugar and honey together in a saucepan until frothy.

Add Corn Flakes and mix well.

Working quickly spoon into paper patty cases.

Bake in a slow oven 150°C for 10 minutes.

Cool. 

Ohhhh the nostalgia!!!

It's a little bit like jumping on trampoline's...

and connecting with your inner child.

Give it a try...

I double dare you!

That's just how I roll.

xx

i bring the thunder

"I brought the thunder.. 

It's what I call it.

It's very effective at work.. Only it's totally inappropriate on a date.

I was nervous.

I didn't socialise much as a kid; I kind of spent all my time in books;

and you don't have to socialise with books...

So when I get nervous I tend to cover it up by talking a lot;

and being really loud. And definite. And being in charge...

So no one will see how scared I am.

And on our date I was terrified because you're very handsome and nice and you're great;

A N D   I ' M   D O R K Y .

I ' M   N E R D Y .

I ' M   M E ! 

So I brought the thunder!!!"

-- Maggie Pierce

Yup - I'm the girl who's still watching Grey's Anatomy 11 years after it first aired.

Furthermore - I'm the girl who can still relate to the characters on Grey's Anatomy in its 11th season...

Maggie Pierce. I get her.

And I too have my own version of The Thunder, which I have been know to unleash on unsuspecting victims.

I'm not good at dating.

I am awkward at small talk.

I can be the worlds worst Chatty Cathy.

And then I retreat like a turtle back into my shell.

Hopefully a little thunder isn't too scary.

And as they say -

A F T E R   E V E R Y   S T O R M   C O M E S   A   R A I N B O W

xx

let's jump

I'm not sure of the exact date and time; but somewhere between believing in the tooth fairy and falling head over heels in love with Zac from Hanson, I became very serious about life. I quietly packed my imagination into a box and stored in securely on a shelf in my mind. The days of make believe quickly became a thing of the past. I decided being cool or 'grown up' was more important than having fun. And I began to do (or not do) things based on what everyone else thought of me. (Let's blame my mad crush on Zac Hanson on this very theory). 

 I   S T O P P E D   B O U N C I N G   O N   T R A M P O L I N E S

And doing cartwheels.

And running through sprinklers.

And rolling down grassy hills.

I lost my sense of child-like wonder.

At some stage - Everyone does.

I don't believe this is just a by-product of growing up. 

George Bernard Shaw said it best - 

We don't stop playing because we grow old;
We grow old because we stop playing.
-- George Bernard Shaw

How disappointing that in our society to be playful is considered 'childish';

and how heartbreaking that for an adult to exhibit playful behaviour results in judgement from others.

Rather than search outdoor furniture and courtyard inspiration since moving into my new place; 

I've been trawling gumtree for a trampoline.

I have decided to play again. 

To defy others' judgement; 

And find my inner-child full of energy and excitement.

Also - who doesn't love lying on a trampoline on a clear night and looking up at the stars?!

It's about mindfulness. 

Living in the moment. 

Unleashing fun. 

Let's bring back our childlike wonder.

You should be allowed to jump if you want to.

xx

one by one

"The lotus is the most beautiful flower,

whose petals open one by one. But it

will only grow in the mud. In order to

grow and gain wisdom, first you must

have the mud - the obstacles of life and

its suffering. The mud speaks of the

common ground that humans share, no

matter what our stations in life.

Whether we have it all or we have

nothing, we are all faced with the same

obstacles: sadness, loss, illness, dying

and death. If we are to strive as human

beings to gain more wisdom, more

kindness and more compassion, we must

have the intention to grow as a lotus

and open each petal one by one."

                                                               

                                                                 -- Goldie Hawn

i've been baking; i've been baking

I was in my new place for over 2 months before I even tried to turn my oven on.

It didn't work...

Thankfully, I was only trying to bake a potato for my dinner, so I thought the fact that this highlighted my lack of cooking/baking was hilarious.

Everyone else in my life was in shock - 

"But you're a baker! How did you not know?!"

"I thought that the oven would have been the first thing you checked when you moved in?!"

"What have you been eating?!"

First of all - 

Somewhere in the last 6-10 months, I lost my baking mojo.

Second - 

My diet is a healthy combination of Ben & Jerry's; and leftovers from dinner at my dad's house. Thanks for asking.

In any case - 

The oven now works. 

And in the past month I have even made a couple of cakes.

Carrot Cake

C A R R O T   C A K E

1¼ cups (220g) brown sugar

¾ cup (185ml) vegetable oil

3 eggs

1½ cups (225g) plain plain flour

1½ teaspoons baking powder

1 teaspoon bicarb soda

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

½ teaspoon ground ginger

2½ cups grated carrot (about 5 carrots)

½ cup (60g) chopped walnuts

Preheat oven to 180°C.

Place the sugar and oil in the bowl of an electric mixer and beat for 2–3 minutes.

Add the eggs gradually and beat well.

Sift the flour, baking powder, bicarbonate of soda, cinnamon and ginger over the sugar mixture.

Add the carrot and walnuts; and mix until just combined.

Pour into a greased cake tin lined with non-stick baking paper and bake for 55–60 minutes or until cooked when tested with a skewer. Cool in tin.

Frost.

xx