quitting vs giving up

Over the last four or so weeks, I have given this topic a lot of thought..

Disagree with me if you will, but atleast hear me out first.

It'll be like a one-sided debate.
(Unless you want to get involved by leaving a comment...)

Here's the topic -


There is a difference between 'quitting' and 'giving up'.

To give up is to surrender. To let adversity, or difficulty, or even a little challenge discourage you.

Giving up hurts (at least) twice - once when you do it; and again at a later date when you think back and wish you hadn't.

On the other hand - 

Quitting is empowering.
To quit is to make a choice to move on to something else; something better.

Quitting can be difficult, but in certain circumstances it is the right thing to do.

* * *

Society has taught us to perceive quitting with negative connotations. Nobody wants to be thought of as a 'quitter'. We often think of quitting as failure. We commend people for carrying on through difficulty. We fear judgement of our actions from family, friends and colleagues. So we stick with things that don’t make us happy because we feel we like we should.

We have been brought up with this focus on perseverance rather than purposefulness. 
If you're sticking with something just to prove something then it's a bit pointless...

Have you ever felt that feeling in your gut that the path you are on is now wrong for you?

It takes a lot of courage to admit that, even to yourself, let alone to the rest of the world. Sometimes you have to leave the current path and find a new one. Or, if there is no new path to be found, create a new one.

This can apply to so many aspects of life — home, work, education, family, friends, relationships, and habits.

It's the opposite of what we're all told.

Have you ever felt trapped?

Make a change in your life.

Don’t waste your time on a path that feels wrong; on something that is compromising your happiness.

Don’t fear the stigma.

QUIT.

Embrace the change.

Quitting does not make you weak. It means you are brave enough to change what isn't right.

xx

so... i'm jumping off the hamster wheel

This time next week I will be unemployed.

That sentence scares the pants off me and sends a rush of excitement through me all at the same time.

As I'm sure it does in any work environment, the news of my resignation spread through the office like wild fire, and soon after, I was faced with a number of questions from my colleagues, including the obvious -
"So, where are you going next?"

The thing is - I'm just not sure yet. My plan is sketchy at best.

I am met with many blank faces when I honestly admit the unknown.

And believe me - I would probably be a little too quick to judge if someone told me the same news with the same lack of conviction.

Because, let's face it - it is very rare for anyone to "simply" quit their job without a plan. Or a lotto windfall.

Since I have neither, let me be the first to admit that this was no simple decision.

I am still fighting my inner Logical Andie every single day. For a long time, she has been in charge around here. And she judges me more than anyone I know..

But my new plan is to have no plan.

I have had plans in the past, but these often come with expectations, and well, sometimes where there is expectation, there is disappointment.

The reasoning behind my decision to jump off the hamster wheel probably doesn't make sense to many people. But for once in my life, I have decided to leap into the unknown.

Wish me luck.

xx

why i read my horoscope daily

I think horoscopes are one of those things that you're either into, or you're not.

Much like sports, or animals, or tequila, they are either part of your life, or you have zero interest.

I like them.

I like that it's referred to as the 'Science of the Stars'

I like having the option to blame my crappy day on unfortunate planetary alignment

I like to believe in fate rather than coincidence

I like the concept of a crystal ball foreseeing my future

I like that for one moment, in a world where I like to be truly certain and always know the answer to the question before I ask it, I can put my faith in the complete unknown.

Don't get me wrong - I don't necessarily believe my horoscope 100% of the time.

I just like the idea.

OK, let's be honest - I like the idea today.

I like that my mind has the power to turn a vague generalisation into a wild possibility

Because today, I am told - 

You can't just do what you have always done. Well, you can - there is no law against it. But if you want to grow, to explore, to discover, to awaken your potential and to embrace all the marvellous opportunities life has to offer you, that may first require learning to look at the past with fresh eyes. It may also be necessary to find a willingness to innovate. The familiar is always reassuring. The new is always scary. Summon your courage and step into the unknown today. The time will soon be right for a brave move. 

________________________________________

Today, I like that optimism. That opportunity. That glimmer of hope that if I take a leap of faith, everything will be OK.

xx

cheaters strudel

Last week I craved comfort food. And I happened to have some apples in the fruit bowl.

Apple pie seemed like too much effort, so instead I made a 'cheaters' version of apple strudel.

I call it the 'cheaters' version because I used store-bought puff pastry, which is not my usual style.

But none the less, my first attempt at strudel was delicious (although, as it turns out, not so photogenic*)


C H E A T E R S   A P P L E   S T R U D E L

Cheaters Apple Strudel

2 tablespoons caster sugar

1 tablespoon plain flour
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
2 large apples, peeled, cored, thinly sliced
2 tablespoons raisins (optional)
4 sheets frozen puff pastry, thawed

1 egg
Slivered almonds, for sprinkling

Icing sugar, to dust

Preheat oven to 190°C. Combine sugar, flour and cinnamon in a bowl. Add apples (raisons are optional). Toss to coat.

Line a baking tray with non-stick baking paper. Place the pastry on a lightly floured sheet of non-stick baking paper. Dust the pastry lightly with flour. Spoon the apple mixture over the bottom half of the pastry. Roll the pastry into a large log. 

Place, seam side down, on the baking tray. Tuck the ends under the roll.

Combine the egg with 1 tablespoon of water. Brush with the egg mixture. Cut several 2cm-long slits, 2cm apart, into the top of the roll. Sprinkle with slivered almonds.

Bake for 35 minutes or until golden. Transfer to a wire rack lined with baking paper for 30 minutes to cool (if you can wait that long..) Dust with icing sugar and serve.

xx

[*Disclaimer : I may or may not have made, photographed, and eaten these after a glass (or two) of bubbles]

little miss contradiction

Contradiction

con·tra·dic·tion  [kon-truh-dik-shuhn] 

noun

the act of contradicting; gainsaying or opposition.

assertion of the contrary or opposite; denial.

a statement or proposition that contradicts or denies another or itself and is logically incongruous.

direct opposition between things compared; inconsistency.

I dream of conquering the world but I don't think I am smart/determined/motivated enough

I am a cat person who owns a dog

I love comfy pjs and twirling in skirts

My memory is terrible but I don't forget lyrics to songs

I have a 'don't mess with me attitude' but can cry for days

I am known to be 'girly' but my wardrobe is black

I love absorbing the suns rays but yearn to play in the snow

I will offer advice but rarely want to hear it

I want the freedom of travel but the foundation of 'home'

I want to prove my independence but long to be loved

I am strong and stubborn but vulnerable and emotional

I want to jump out of planes but I am scared of heights

I hate confrontation but am passionate about my beliefs

I drink green juices for breakfast and wine for my dinner

I crave uninhibited passion but fear for my heart

I want to snuggle all day and dance all night

I like structure but resent nine-to-five

I am quick to learn but slow to trust

I resist change but continue to search for something

I stress about finances but I have just quit my job

I embrace doing nothing and then worry about wasted time

I'm an organised list writer with a cluttered mind

That's me - a whole complex package

xx

why i can't settle

Sometimes starting a blog post is the hardest part. There are so many thoughts in my head that I struggle to communicate them to my fingers and type anything coherent.

Usually, once I have begun, the words flow from me with ease. 

And most often, the message I thought I was trying to convey in the beginning is not at all where it ends up.

But that's my point today. It's a new concept I am learning to understand, accept and embrace - 

It's OK to veer off path

It's OK to change your mind.

You have the freedom to reconsider any and all aspects of your life - from simple things like what you want for breakfast today, or which direction you're going to take on your morning walk; To larger plans like where you'll spend Christmas; To life changing ideas like where you want to live; work, play; and with whom you wish to spend the rest of your life.

In life, we stick with plans because we feel like we have made a commitment (either to ourselves or to others). Most of the time we are afraid to change our plans unless there is something terribly wrong so that we can justify our decision to anyone who dares question our motives to seek something new. But you know what? Just because it's a good, solid, plan - doesn't mean it's right for you, or right for now.

Occasionally, we stop to identify that the plan we thought we had signed, sealed and delivered turns out to be inadequate or less than desirable or maybe something just isn't right. In this moment, we realise we are missing a major component in our lives. Maybe we have become complacent? Maybe we didn't consider our options in the past because they just didn't seem possible?

When we refuse to change direction for any reason (fear being the most common) - 

We are settling.

And we should never settle.

Nelson Mandela

Why should live an ordinary life, when we are capable of being extraordinary?

xx

#sharethegoodstuff

Have you ever stumbled across a blog/website/instagram account and marveled in the beauty of such a simple concept that you think to yourself - 

I must shout my praise of this person and their awesomeness from the rooftops?

I have.

So I am.

May I introduce to you...

In the interest of full disclosure – Yes, this little marvel is brought to you by a very special friend of mine. BUT I didn’t know that when I first came across it in its infancy.

The sheer simplicity of this project is what makes it so damn special.

"It might only be a small thing, 

but One Such Thing is something to someone."

Let us marvel in the beauty of our daily lives.

Let us take a moment to appreciate just one thing in our world, for which we are truly grateful.

Sandy Toes

I've shared my One Such Thing.. Have you?

xx

redefining success

I have been sitting on this post for several weeks now. Jotting down my thoughts and spending some time letting my own self judgement swirl around in my mind, letting my opinions form, then change, then reconsidering my previous assumptions.

So here I am. Ready to talk about the definitions of 'success' and 'failure'.

I have posted about feeling like a failure in the past. But today I ponder failure of a more general kind. 

Life failure.

What does it actually mean to fail? In exams, it’s black and white

and easy to understand.

But in life ... it’s ambiguous because success is 

often about meeting a set of criteria created by a person or a 

group of people whose opinions differ from your own.

- Here

If the opposite of failure is success, then what exactly does that mean?

If you ask society to determine if you're successful it is easy - 

On paper, I was 'successful' in my early 20's.

Uni Degree  ✔️

Job  ✔️

Husband  ✔️

House  ✔️

Dog  ✔️

Tick; Tick; Tick.


But back then, I was (unknowingly) living a life with blinkers on, like a Clydesdale horse - focused on the path ahead, blindly heading from 'here' to 'there'. 

Yes, I was ticking the boxes and yes, I was feeling satisfied that I was succeeding. But in hindsight, these goals were self imposed priorities that were previously determined by societal expectations and I didn't really stop to wonder if I was on the right path for me.




You know why?

Because I was 100% focused on being who I 'should' be.



WHO MAKES THESE RULES?!


Those who know me in 'real life' know I have been challenging this concept for months. 
If you know me really well.. you know I have been quietly struggling with this concept for YEARS!


But I have come to a life changing realisation that is - 

Failure is what happens when you feel disconnected from who 

you really are.

This means (in a very harsh and judgmental way) that I had failed more than a marriage by the ripe age of 25.

*oops!*

[Edit: After a conversation with my sister about this very topic, I have acknowledged that I know I haven't failed at life, but I was definitely doing all the things I was 'supposed' to do rather than figuring out who I am and what I want. As a 'wife' I made sacrifices because that's what I thought marriage and compromise was all about. Happily, I now know that if/when I ever choose to become a 'wife' again, I will not lose myself in the process. HIGH FIVE!]
Sidenote - I think I have come up with a new blog topic - "Thing that my marriage and subsequent breakdown taught me".. 
But I'll leave that for another day!


So now I am focused on a brand new kind of success.

I am throwing out the rigid and inflexible concept of the word and embracing a new theory.

Success is love.

Self love first and foremost.

Love yourself. Love what you are doing. Love where you are. Love where you have been.

And if you don't - then make a change.

Because your life should not be spend striving for someone else's ideal of success.


~ ~ ~


I'm not done with this topic. I still have a long way to go.

It's not easy to challenge society. And it sure as hell isn't easy to challenge yourself.

I am currently fighting my own internal dialect Every. Damn. Day.


xx

what i know

There are lots of things in life that I don't quite understand - 

Like death - or more specifically what happens after death?

And why an hour spent on Pinterest is gone in the blink of an eye, but feels like 5 years when you're waiting for that call, text, email...

Or why it's always an annoying song that gets stuck in your head, and not one of your favourites.

But what I know is that the beach is the perfect place to hang, no matter what your mood; 

Some friends are irreplaceable and even if you don't get to see them often, they are definitely worth their weight in gold; 

Sometimes, even after a week of healthy eating (or maybe especially after a week of healthy eating) a margarita is the best idea;

Lying on the grass, staring at the sky, is the best therapy;

Nothing beats a kick-ass playlist on a long flight;

And when in doubt - ask dad because his no nonsense advice is second to none.

here

xx